Part 1 of 2 - Helping Us Understand Children’s Developing Brains with Kathryn Berkett

 

Some of our teachers were lucky enough to go to some professional learning on Thursday night with Kathryn Berkett and we came away with so many gems worth sharing.  

We made plenty of links to our Positive Education Programme and Kathryn’s work around the developing brain.  We took away key messages around supporting our students with big emotions, building tools for resilience and responding to different types of stress.

Kathryn Berkett is a Wellington-based expert in neuroscience and child development.  She shared her insights with our NZEI and ECE, Primary sector colleagues. With over 20 years of experience and a Master’s degree in Educational Psychology, she specialises in helping educators and parents understand how young children’s brains develop.  In particular how they manage emotions, respond to stress, and build resilience. Her work is grounded in science and delivered in a way that’s relatable, practical, and easy to apply at school and home. 

It's always the way when you go to these learning opportunities - your mind races with all the things you can do better, to be better for all students and whānau. The sudden realisation that the more you know the more you don’t know also occurred more than once. Some concepts were new and some of the learning gave us confidence that we are on the right track, already implementing what we know as best practice for these young brains we are helping to develop.  

We all know how important the early years are. Kathryn’s presentation offered a real-world view with strategies to support emotional regulation and positive behaviour, while helping us better understand what’s going on beneath the surface. This was also something we talked about as a Tautoru Team at our POS Ed Workshop in Term 1 so super relevant and worthwhile to add to our Positive Education Kete and far to good not to share.   

Regulation and Emotional Development: Children learn to manage big emotions with adult support. Kathryn talked about what we can do to support this process. She emphasised the importance of co-regulation, where calm, connected adults help children develop their own ability to stay calm and focused.

The Impact of Stress and Trauma looks different for individuals based on a variety of factors.  Adverse experiences (even everyday stress) affect brain development and behaviour. She talked about how to identify signs of dysregulation and how to respond with empathy and consistency.

Experiences and connections help our children develop into healthy aware adolescents and adults who can regulate themselves in a range of ways and who can understand their bodies and what they need.  This all happens by the simple things in life that are unfortunately becoming less and less frequent as times change and life becomes busier.  

The concept of tolerable stress comes from the field of developmental neuroscience, introduced by researchers at Harvard University.  Tolerable Stress is so important and not something to be avoided. 

Tolerable Stress was developed as part of the three levels of stress response model:

1. Positive stress

2. Tolerable stress

3. Toxic stress

This got us thinking about all the things we do as teachers and parents that have our children’s best interests at heart.  We focused on stress that is most relevant from a teaching perspective. 

The concept of Tolerable stress helps clarify that not all stress is harmful—in fact, with strong adult support, challenging experiences can help build resilience, not damage it.  We spend a lot of time creating ‘safe spaces’, spaces free of perceived triggers that elicit particular behaviours that are often hard for adults to deal with,  therefore twice as hard for our kids to understand and deal with !  By removing these triggers, barriers and challenges we take away learning opportunities that our kids really need to develop. 

At times our instincts are to shield children from all stress  It is natural to want to protect children from discomfort but not all stress is harmful.  Allowing children to experience tolerable stress, with the right support, is essential for healthy development.  Adult Support is Key and that is our role. 

Tolerable Stress defined as stress that can cause a significant distress response, it's characterised by the ability to return to a baseline state after the stressor is removed, especially with the help of a supportive environment.  We know that it is tolerable stress when a the duration and intensity lessens over time.  For example:  A distressed child starting school for the first time and not wanting to let a parent go. Crying and screaming at the door.  Over a week, every day they recover quicker and quicker until they are happy for Mum or Dad to leave.  They are supported through this with a teacher but so important for Mum or Dad to be consistent and brave at drop off.  It’s possibly the hardest way to start the day as a parent but 99% of the time,  once Mum or Dad have reached the gate,  the crying has stopped and things are ok. 

So why encourage and ride through ‘Tolerable stress’ ?

• It helps children build resilience and the ability to cope, adapt, and recover from challenges.

• It strengthens the brain’s self-regulation systems, teaching children how to manage big emotions and stay calm under pressure.

• It builds confidence and problem-solving skills, showing kids that they can get through tough situations with support.

Children should never have to face stress alone. With calm, caring adults beside them, tolerable stress becomes a learning experience, not a damaging one.

In practical terms, this looks like:  

• learning to wait their turn

• trying something new and difficult

• losing a game or making a mistake

• being nervous about a performance or school event

• adults walking alongside them through the challenges and the tolerable stress.

This all sounded very familiar - GRIT, Growth Mindset, Dialling up Character Strengths, Learning how to be a good learner, a good friend, mindfulness strategies, breathing and our Science to Action Planning and Wellbeing Strategy - just a few connections were made.  

The most important learning for us was the emphasis placed on allowing children to sit with big emotions, allowing them to experience mistakes and allowing them to experience the word ‘No’.  Her work empowered us to continue to respond calmly, building secure connections, and supporting healthy development.  The earlier we can learn to do this the better.  So it really got me thinking about all the things we do for students and all the things I do as a parent and there are a variety of reasons why.  Is this really supporting them ? 

I believe our challenge is to be able to sit with the uncomfortable more, nurture that tolerable stress carefully and skilfully, because we know our kids well.  We have to be ok to sit with the big emotions and maximise these as learning opportunities.  How will we know we have done a good job ?  When we see a student that is experiencing some Positive Accomplishment when once there 'go to' may have been to give up or blow up.  When recovery becomes faster and they are able to regulate their emotions.  We can shine the light on all the small steps, highlighting the moments where students have been able to overcome a 'tolerably stressful moment'.

Maria Montessori also once said

"Do not do for a child what they can do for themselves."